well,

 i was wearing this outfit the other day,  and my mom said: you look like the aliens from lilo and stitch, the ones trying really hard and failing to look human.   she didn't mean it neither as a compliment or an insult, just a fact, but i definitely took is as a compliment, i used to love them so so so much as a kid, specially pleakley, he was such an icon, a queer icon really. how i wish i was weird looking alien wearing anything i want, and if i'm out there actually giving those vibes, then i might be closer to the ideal version of me from my head than i thought.  this whole thing reminded me to a silly doodle i drew years ago, prompted by a quick silly comment my dad made, i was watching a video of someone that was giving me so much gender envy, my dad came into the room, saw the person, and said: "haha they look like you" it's crazy how big of a difference there is between how i see myself and how other people do, it makes me wonder if would i think i looked ...

(tw: mental health issues rant) almost 3 years ago i got my job at a café, and since then i've noticed a declined on my social life. i just don't have the energy to interact with my friends.    let me give you a room tour of my brain, so you can understand a little bit more how i socialize. i am not a person that emotes spontaneously, everything i do to socialize i do it on command, as a performance of sorts. not to say i don't feel emotions, i'm just saying they don't show on my face or my behavior naturally.  so every time i get visibly excited, disappointing, mad, etc. i do it on purpose, it's not like breathing to me, it's like choosing to write something on a notebook. i have to understand the situation, read it correctly, think about it, choose a face (or a noise), and make it, so the other person can see i am feeling the correct thing they expect me to feel.    it's the same for speaking, my natural tendency is to be quiet. i love not talking. i ...

i think i've already mentioned around here, crayons are my favorite coloring tool, they brake in half in the middle of using them, they're chonky, messy, don't blend well, basically impossible to erase... the perfect tool for an imperfect drawing.  if you use them for coloring, specially if you haven't sharpen them in months, it's already gonna look bad, but i also love to add one more layer of wrong to it. i like to color under one rule: nothing can't be the color it's suppose to be. color the sun blue and the ocean orange, the grass pink and the sky yellow, use green as a skin tone and neon purple for the eyes. if it's an official character known for it's colors, change them all ! sponge bob is now red, doraemon is pink and piglet is green. one other rule i like is: you're only allowed one color, any shade, but just one color.  many people pick up coloring as a hobby to relax, and they end up getting so in their heads over it looking beautiful,...

i was looking thru my frog text book to choose a frog for my little heart shaped frame, and came across her:    perfect, classic frog, the very image that forms in your mind when you think of a frog, so i decided to look no more, for she was exactly what i needed. the book said this about her:    so not only is she perfect but she has the cutest name ever, and she's a fashionista ? wdym she can be 30 different colors ? ???? ? i looked her up and it's clear why they named her after strawberries, she's so ladybug-berry-fairy coded, i can't believe she's real ! no wonder they had to clarify she's poisonous, because i want to hold her so bad....   well imagine my surprise when i find out, she's also out there looking like this,      is this not giving spider-man ? ? could she be more perfect ? of course i had to put her on my little frame !        

i've featured this alien plant in several of my posts now, let's see if i can find them all ( here , here and here ), i was walking my dog the other day and i saw her again ! she's all dry and dead, i guess it makes sense since it's 40º outside, i figured i would take a photo and show you guys, so we can have a full circle moment         i honestly can't believe that's her ! she's been thru so much... she's literally just a stick now ! i will keep an eye out next spring to see if she comes back at that exact same spot or not.  and since i haven't post about nature and critters in a long time, let me just show you a compilation of lizards i've found these past few weeks,   terrible quality, as per usual, i still don't own a camera, but at this point i don't even care, this way they look like one of those bigfoot sightings, so they feel even more like critters, and not just a regular lizard.   also, i don't know if you can tell, but th...

for a second there i thought i wasn't gonna have it in time for the new spider-man movie, but it's done ! (if you missed the first post about it, here ). bad news is one of the sellers told me they didn't feel like going to the post office just to send me a 1€ keychain, valid, but i was very sad to hear it because it was one of the key elements of the bag ! !! it was the long ulgy one, i love him so much, i hope i can find it again somewhere else :( without him the bag was missing something lowkey cursed and ulgly, so i decided to make one myself....  let's just say i hate a tutorial, i am a chapuzera art-and-crafter, i love me some low effort, fast craft, and i have no patience to watch a video on how to make shit, i will figure it out myself ! last time i made a beaded keychain, i was quite literally 10. my skills were very rusty but i took one look at this photo and thought: i can do that !   i think we can all agree danette mullen made this for people who already kn...

there's a lot of ugly art around me, at my house. one of my first posts here was about my favorite ugly trinkets , if you're interested in looking at some of these ugly things i own.  many of my friends and family gift me their failed attempts at creating something beautiful. maybe they're trying to draw something cute and it turns out scary, they're coloring something and mistake a few colors so now it looks off, or they're sewing a plushie but it's their first time and it looks haunted. well they look at their monstrous art and instead of throwing it away, they think of me ! they think i would enjoy it, and so they give it to me.  they are right ! i love it ! !! ugly art actually speaks to me. i look at it and i feel this weird feeling, pretty things could never make me feel. i love them so much.  but last week, for the first time, someone created something for me, and they made it ugly on purpose. this piece of art is not a failed attempt to make something cu...